FPS: MISSING SCENES
by Patcat
Summary: See Title.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

She hoped when she arrived at Major Case that it would be a great step up in her career. She even vaguely hoped the temporary assignment would become permanent. Thanks to her high standing in her Academy class and her family connections she had her choice of assignments when she graduated. She managed to avoid a turn in Vice, which seemed to be a requirement for all female cops, and instead enjoyed several posts that drew good attention from the Brass and the politicians. The only down side—aside from the jealousy of other cops—was that these assignments provided little in the way of street credentials, and this was something G. Lynn Bishop was eager to remedy. She hoped for a spot in Narcotics, but jumped at the chance to work in Major Case, which looked like the perfect move for her career. She liked the Major Case captain. James Deakins was politically smooth and aware like everyone Bishop had met above the rank of lieutenant in the NYPD, but he appeared more honest and tolerant than most of the Brass she'd encountered. Bishop sensed she was being brought to Major Case as a favor to someone, but Deakins didn't press the issue.

"I need to warn you," Deakins told her near the end of their first conversation. "You're not entering an ideal situation. Detective Alex Eames is going on maternity leave. A lot of people like Eames a lot. Especially her partner, Bobby Goren."

Bishop leaned forward. She'd heard a lot about Alex Eames and Bobby Goren. Their partnership and its solve rate were legendary. She was puzzled to hear Eames was pregnant; what Bishop heard from the NYPD rumor mill was that Eames was a widow of a cop slain in the line of duty. The rumor mill held differing opinions about Goren. Roughly a third held he was an unstable whack job one step away from being a perp. Another third maintained he was the department's most brilliant detective. And the last third said he was both. Bishop reasoned that Goren was half of the team with the department's best solve rate, and so he must be responsible for at least half of that rate. She'd dealt with plenty of difficult men in her career, and thought she could handle anything Robert Goren threw at her. But, by the end of their first day together, Bishop's confidence was shaken. By the end of their first case, she was ready to leave Robert Goren and the Major Case Squad. Fortunately for her confidence and career, Bishop talked to Alex Eames and Captain Deakins. Both convinced her to ride out the first weeks of her temporary partnership, and apparently also spoke to Goren. He reached out to her with awkward gestures and words, and Bishop grudgingly began to respect Goren's mind and methods—or at least their results—even if she didn't understand him.

And then, Goren spectacularly solved a case that Bishop thought beyond any human intelligence, and managed to solve it under the white hot glare of the press and the Brass. It ended with the sort of confrontation Bishop had never experienced and hoped never to experience again. She watched in awe as Goren maneuvered civilians out of the sight and reach of a raving and disturbed man with a very big gun. Goren then eased Bishop and other cops out of range so subtly that Bishop and the others found themselves staring at a closed door and wondering what was happening behind it. After several long minutes, Goren, holding that big gun, led the now calm man out of the room. After that, Bishop worshipped Goren. He still confused and irritated and occasionally frightened her, but she viewed all of his actions as heroic. She defended Goren to anyone who dared to criticize or make fun of him.

But this case of a murdered computer geek confused her as much as anything had in her association with Goren. She didn't understand this world of online gamers and computer jockeys and was pretty sure she didn't want to understand it or them. Goren--who wasn't the most technologically gifted or aware person--adapted quickly to deal with this environment and its inhabitants. Listening to Goren speak with a NYPD computer expert, Bishop was stunned to realize she could barely follow their conversation.

"You learn stuff so fast," she told Goren after that. "I thought you barely knew how to use email."

Goren stared at his feet and shuffled his binder from one hand to the other. "I…uh…know a little more than that…The other stuff…Just research and some stuff I picked up…"

"Some research," Bishop thought. "He probably stayed up all night studying computer manuals…"

She'd felt in synch with Goren during this investigation. She'd been irritated, and had let that show, when he used her to demonstrate how Corinne Kennedy was killed, but she'd brushed that away. She managed to follow his reasoning through the case, and was as eager as he was to bring in Abe McVee. She enjoyed watching McVee squirm under Goren's intense interrogation until McVee revealed that his problems with his ex-wife and Jack Cadogan were both settled. As she realized McVee lacked a motive for murder and framing Cadogan, Bishop watched Goren implode. She couldn't understand why Goren was so upset. McVee was still a scumbag, and they had eliminated a suspect. She followed Goren to his desk, and couldn't understand why Goren flung a paper wad at Eames' chair. She understood even less as Goren mumbled.

"Croydon…Wally Stevens…Hitchens…"

"I don't understand," Bishop said.

"Eames…Eames would've known…"

The words hit her like a blow, and, confused, she sat at her desk. She didn't know what to do or say. She wished she'd spent more time researching Goren and Eames' past cases and less on the politics of Major Case. Goren awkwardly and tentatively asked her to release and apologize to McVee, and Bishop thought McVee was as confused by this turn as she was. When she returned to her desk, Bishop found Goren with his back to her. She sat uncertainly at her desk. "Temporary," she thought. "Temporary…Just like me…"

Goren turned and rolled his chair closer to her. "It's Neil," he said.

She looked at him and tried to understand what Neil Colby figured in this case. But she listened.

"It's about yearning…He misses his partner…"

As a weight grew in her chest, she listened as Goren explained how and why Neil had killed Corinne Kennedy and placed her in the middle of a computer scam. She felt anger and guilt; anger that Neil Colby could defame and kill an innocent young woman, and guilt that she hadn't been able to protect her partner—her temporary partner. She recognized that some of her anger came from knowing Neil Colby had in a few days learned more about Robert Goren than she had in several weeks. Her guilt and anger eased somewhat when Goren recovered and devised a plan to catch Colby, but she knew—as if she hadn't before—that she wasn't Goren's partner and never would be. That position was filled.

She watched with admiration as Goren sang his duet with Colby. She played her part in the chorus and scooped up Goren's binder at the conclusion. Goren's cell rang, and when he revealed that Eames had finally had the baby, Bishop said "That's great," and meant it. She liked Eames and thought she was doing a great and brave thing for her sister. "You should call her," Bishop said and handed his binder to Goren. "I'll handle the booking." As had so often happened with Goren, she couldn't quite read his reaction. But she'd learned about yearning.

END CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

He watched her walk away. In the past few minutes he'd ridden an emotional wave, from the excitement of his final interrogation of Neil Colby to exhaustion and depression when he saw Colby's destruction and its devastating results to others, including Jack Cadogan. Bobby was processing all of this when his cell phone rang, and he received the wondrous news that Alex had given birth to a boy. Bobby's first reaction was enormous relief that Alex was all right. Though her pregnancy he'd read and researched—he hoped subtly—everything he could and became horribly aware of all the things that could go wrong during a pregnancy. He wondered how humans as a species survived the process. It was often difficult for him to think of the baby as anything other than a threat to Alex until one afternoon when he looked up from some crime scene photos to see Alex with an expression of beautiful surprise on her face.

"What?" he asked as he stood. "Are you ok?"

"Come…Come with me…" Alex stood and walked quickly from her desk. Bobby followed her to an empty interview room.

"The baby," Alex said in wonder. "The baby is moving…"

Bobby's jaw dropped. There was a baby. Another person. Alex carried another life inside her.

"Really?" he whispered. "Does it…Is it uncomfortable?"

She shook her head. "No…Not at all…Here…" She seized his left hand and brought it to rest over her growing lower tummy. Bobby felt a shock when their hands touched; unless they were undercover, they never touched. Bobby often thought one reason he enjoyed going undercover with Alex was so he could touch her. As she held his hand against her body, a wonderful warmth spread from the hand to the rest of his body.

"Can you feel it?" Alex asked eagerly.

A soft ripple moved under Bobby's fingers. "Oh…Oh, yes…Oh…Alex." He stared at her. "Oh…Eames…I'm sorry…"

"It's all right, Bobby. I think you can call me Alex under these circumstances." She smiled at him, and his insides turned to goo.

Moments like that—any moments with Alex—became rarer as her pregnancy continued. Her time at work lessened, and her time away from work was spent increasingly in the welcome arms of her family. Bobby sensed there were members of her family happy to separate her from him, and even to encourage her to leave the NYPD. Bobby dismissed this as paranoia until he heard one side of several phone calls an exasperated Alex had with her mother and sister. One evening he arrived at her home to take her to an increasingly rare dinner to discover one of her brothers—Bobby thought it was her oldest, who was some member of the NYPD Brass—in her kitchen. Bobby stayed in the living room because of the hostile vibrations from the brother. Alex sent her brother away, but the following meal was conducted in a strained silence. Bobby felt a growing fear as the evening continued.

"I'm sorry, Bobby," Alex said as they neared her home. "I haven't been good company tonight."

Bobby's grip on the steering wheel grew tighter.

"It's not your fault," Alex sighed. "It's my family…Some of them…God…" She shook her head. "I love them…I love what I'm doing for my sister…I even love being pregnant…But there're times I just want to get back to work."

A wave of relief hit Bobby so strongly that he thought he might have to stop the car.

"Bobby…You…You'll come to see me while I'm no leave, right?"

Bobby glanced at her. He struggled to understand why she could think he wouldn't visit her. "Of course…Of course…You…If you want me to come, nothing will keep me away…"

"Good," Alex declared, and her smile again turned his insides to goo.

He saw her less frequently when she went on leave, although every time Alex saw him she told him how much she missed Major Case; how much she missed work; how much she missed him. Her words reassured him, but for the first time in his life Bobby resented his work because it kept him from seeing Alex. He and Bishop caught several difficult case, cases Bobby thought were made more and unnecessarily difficult by Bishop's stubbornness and narrow mindedness. He tried, especially after Deakins spoke with him, not to compare Bishop with Eames. Bishop was bright enough, Bobby acknowledged, but inexperienced, and worse, willfully unwilling to learn. Things became marginally better with time—Bobby suspected Deakins had also had a "talk" with Bishop—and there was a huge shift in Bishop's attitude after a case where Bobby dealt with a very angry and very disturbed young man with a very large gun. Bishop became Bobby's devoted acolyte, and a deeply embarrassed Bobby wished she'd return to her critical view. As he sat at his desk trying to decompress after the confrontation, Bobby saw Bishop enter Deakins' office and speak with great animation to the captain. "Great," Bobby thought, and tried not to think of how much better he'd feel if Eames was at her desk across from him. When Deakins summoned him, Bobby lowered his head and tried to avoid the eyes of everyone in the bullpen. He was stunned when Deakins, with quiet and great pride, informed Bobby that the captain intended to nominate him for a Medal of Honor. Bobby knew Deakins was puzzled by his reaction, which consisted of Bobby staring at his feet and mumbling that any good cop would've done what he did and that his bravery was greatly exaggerated.

"That's not what Bishop said," Deakins commented. "It's not what the civilians said. It's not what the other cops on the scene said. It's not even what the perp said. I'm doing the paperwork. I'd get your dress blues cleaned, Bobby. I think you're going to get that medal. And you deserve it."

Bobby, his head down and still trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, returned to his desk. Bishop looked at him with wide eyes, and he stared guiltily at his desk.

"We…Uh…Need to start the booking," Bobby stammered.

"I've got it," Bishop said eagerly, and Bobby hated that he welcomed her departure. He was able to avoid Bishop and other cops for the rest of the day as he dealt with getting the disturbed young man the legal and psychological help he needed. His efforts resulted in a distinct change of mood on the parts of Captain Deakins and especially Ron Carver.

"Just what side are you on, Detective?" Carver asked in frustration.

Standing in Deakins's office, Bobby sought refuge in his binder. "He's ill…He doesn't understand the results of his actions…"

"That should be up to his attorney to prove," Carver answered.

"But his court appointed attorney never handled this type of case," Bobby said. "He doesn't know…"

"He does now," Deakins said. "I think Detective Goren will devote himself to the prosecution's side of this case now." He looked carefully at Bobby.

"Yes, Sir," Bobby said quietly. "Now that I know the defendant has a real defense." As he left the Captain's office, Bobby saw Carver and Deakins share a frustrated look. "Well," Bobby thought. "Maybe that's the end of all that talk about a medal."

A small crowd gathered near his desk, and Bobby started to look for an escape route. Then he heard Alex's voice.

"Your partner's here," an older cop said.

Bobby pushed through the crowd. Alex sat next to her desk. Bishop recited the day's events with a stress on Bobby's heroics.

"Hey," Bobby said awkwardly in an attempt to end Bishop's speech.

Alex looked at him with a mixture of worry, pride, and frustration. "Hey," she said. "I had a doctor's appointment, and I talked my brother-in-law into dropping me off for a visit. Apparently I got here just in time to congratulate you."

Bobby reddened. "It…It wasn't that big a deal…"

"Not a big deal?" Bishop exclaimed. "I was telling everyone about the Medal of Honor…"

Bobby waved a large paw. "I…I don't know about that…"

"You deserve it," Bishop declared.

"I'm sure he does," Alex said warmly. "Hey, Goren…Could you get a pregnant lady some water?"

Bobby blessed her for giving him a way out. By the time he returned with not only a bottle of cold water but also a can of decaf soda and a bottle of juice, the crowd had left. Bishop smiled warmly at Alex as Bobby shyly approached.

"I'll let you guys talk," she said. "Good luck, Alex."

Alex smiled as Bishop walked away. She gratefully accepted the water from Bobby, unscrewed the bottle top, and took a long drink. "Thanks," she said. She eyed the soda and juice. "You're going to have to find someone else for those. C'mon…Help me up and we can go to the cafeteria. I can watch you drink a cup of coffee."

Bobby half-smiled. He knew Alex mixed coffee, especially high octane coffee, terribly. "Ok…" He walked behind her as she waddled to the elevator and wondered how she managed to keep her balance. She leaned against a wall as the elevator descended. The presence of others kept Alex and Bobby from speaking to each other. In the cafeteria, Bobby carefully guided her to a table. Alex blew a wayward strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I hate that it takes so much effort to do so little," she said. "And that everyone stares at me like I'm some freak."

"What can I get you?" Bobby asked. He tried not to hover over her.

"More water…And a banana…"

Bobby returned several minutes later bearing his coffee and her banana and water.

"Let me smell it," Alex said and leaned over to breathe in the cup Bobby held out to her. "Oh…That's good…Very good," she said. "Enjoy it for me."

Bobby smiled. "I will…"

"So…You're a hero," Alex said deliberately. "And Bishop adores you now…"

Bobby stared into his coffee. "It…It wasn't…If I'd done my job right, the situation wouldn't have gotten so bad…"

"I doubt that," Alex said. "Not if you're being considered for another Medal of Honor…"

"I…I doubt that'll happen," Bobby said. "I…I didn't deserve the first one…I certainly don't deserve one now…"

"You've never told me about how you got that first one," Alex said.

"Eames…Please…" Bobby said in a tight voice. "Please…I don't want to…"

"It's all right, Bobby," Alex said gently. "I know the really brave cops don't want to talk about things. But I am worried a little about what you did today. I'd like my partner to be around and in one piece when I get back."

Bobby couldn't hide his great relief.

"Don't worry, Bobby," Alex assured him. "I'm definitely coming back."

"I…I'm sorry…" He stared again at the table. "I know you've told me…And I know that's not important…But…"

"I just better have a partner to come back to," Alex said.

Bobby sat for a moment. "I…I wasn't stupid or anything today," he finally said. "I swear I wasn't…"

Bobby spent much of the rest of the day and the night trying to understand why Alex worried about him. The next day was the first of G. Lynn Bishop's adoration of Robert Goren, and the subject of that adoration frequently wished she would return to her skepticism. The younger detective was certainly more helpful, but Bobby again found himself comparing Bishop with Eames. He noted that Alex managed to question him without undermining him, to support him without worshipping him. "Eames…Eames would've known," Bobby muttered when he realized Neil Colby had killed Corinne Kennedy and had used Bobby's weaknesses against him to hurt the investigation. Eames would've seen how Colby was setting Bobby up. She would've seen the patterns; she would've seen how Abe McVee was like Bobby's despised father. She wouldn't have followed Bobby blindly through the interview of McVee. Bobby wouldn't have had to reveal fragments of his past, and he wouldn't have had to deal with Bishop's hurt confusion. But as he sat numbly putting together the pieces of Colby's actions, Bobby realized the motive behind Corinne Kennedy's murder.

"It's about yearning."

END CHAPTER TWO


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

All of Bobby's worries disappeared when he received Alex's text message. Then Carver's "Excellent" brought Bobby out of his reverie. Bobby's eyes briefly met Bishop's. "It's great…You should call her. I'll deal with the booking," she said as she handed him his binder. Bobby felt small and petty. He hadn't treated her well. He'd ignored and dismissed and used her. He'd never let her forget that she was a replacement, and while she certainly was that, he could've treated her much better.

Bobby looked at Carver. "Go," the ADA said. "This calls for more than just a phone call or a text. I'll help Detective Bishop if she has any problems. Please let Detective Eames know I'm glad things are going well, and I'll be by to see here when I get a chance."

"I…I will," Bobby stammered. "And…Thank you…"

"God," Bobby thought as he stumbled from the courthouse and found a cab. "Can everyone see it? Am I so dependent on her that everyone can see it?"

As he sat in the cab he tried to settle his emotions. He desperately wanted to see Alex and make sure she was all right. It was only when he was already inside the hospital that he realized much of Alex's family would be there and that he might not be allowed to see her. These thoughts plagued him as he made his way to the obstetrics unit. When Bobby reached the area where families and friends could see the newborn babies, he saw a mass of Eameses surrounding Alex's father, who held a small bundle. Bobby stopped, backed away, and turned to the nearest nurse.

"I…I'm looking for Alex Eames' room," he said softly. "She…She just gave birth…"

"She's resting." The nurse eyed Bobby warily.

"I…Uh…I'm her professional partner…And friend," Bobby said. "We…We're cops…I just wanted to make sure she was ok…"

The nurse's expression softened. "Are you Detective Goren? Bobby Goren?"

"Uh…Yea…" Bobby fumbled for his I.D.

"Ms. Eames said you might come by." The nurse examined Bobby's I.D. "She said we should let you see her." She studied Bobby for a moment. "C'mon," she finally said. "I'll show you to her room."

"I…I won't wake her up," Bobby promised. "I…I just want to make sure she's ok. I…I guess that sounds sorta…"

"Sweet," the nurse said gently. "This is her room." She opened the door carefully, and the light from the hall shone on Alex's face. Her eyes were closed, and her face was calm and peaceful. Bobby eased gingerly into the room.

"Thank you," he whispered to the nurse, who smiled and nodded. As the nurse left, Bobby cautiously approached the bed. He clutched his binder to his chest and looked down on Alex. She looked small and young and vulnerable. He felt horrible about worrying about her return to work.

She stirred and winced, and her eyes blinked open. She looked up at Bobby and smiled. His insides melted, and for a moment Bobby feared he might slump to the floor.

"Don't," he said gently as Alex moved to sit up. "Stay there."

She winced again, and Bobby moved closer to her bed. "Are you ok?" he asked. "Do you need…"

"I'm ok," she said, but she didn't try to move again. "Just a little sore." She smiled again. "You didn't have to come…"

"Yea…Yea I did…I…I needed to see you."

Alex smiled. "Please…Pull up the chair and sit down. I gotta warn you…I'm pretty wiped out…And they've given me some nice drugs…I don't know how long I'll hold out…"

Bobby pulled up the chair and sat. "Don't worry…I…I just wanted to make sure you were ok…"

"I am…" She yawned. "But I can't wait to get back to work."

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "You…You don't have to worry about that. You take all the time you need. What a selfish…You've just done this wonderful thing…You're exhausted…And I'm worried about when you're coming back to work…"

"Bobby." Alex sat up slowly and carefully. "You just said that you knew I did a wonderful thing. That sounds like you're thinking about someone else."

"It's…It's just…This case…This last case…I made some mistakes…And…You would've seen why…You would've stopped me…"

"You're giving me an awful lot of credit," Alex said. "But…I can tell…This one spooked you…"

"Uh…Yea…The perp…Found out things and used them against me…But…I figured it out…Eventually…"

"You left poor Bishop with the paperwork?"

"Yea…She…She offered…After she heard about the baby…She was there when I got your text…She…She told me to call you…I…I shoulda warned her that I was coming to see you…"

Alex leaned back against her pillows. "You owe that girl a lot…"

"Yea…She…The last few cases…She's really tried…" Bobby swallowed. "But…She didn't know…She wasn't you…"

"She's told me she should've done more research on our past case," Alex said. "When she started actually working cases with you, there wasn't any time."

"I…I didn't help." Bobby stared at the floor. "Until you got on me, I didn't help her at all…"

"But you did," Alex said. "And she came around…I've heard she's one of your biggest supporters now…I've heard she's supporting your nomination for that Medal of Honor…"

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "I…I don't know why anyone would think…"

"That's not what I've heard…From Bishop and a lot of other people…"

A soft knock at the door saved Bobby from further discussion of the potential medal. The nurse opened the door at Alex's soft "Come in." Bobby stood and turned to face the nurse's frown.

"He didn't wake me up," Alex declared. "And he isn't bothering me."

The nurse smiled. "Good," she said. "You have two more visitors."

Bobby stepped back into a corner and realized he'd cut off his only escape from the room. A woman slightly younger and taller than Alex entered the room. She carried a small powder blue bundle, and Alex smiled warmly at her.

"Hey, Lexie," the woman said. "I thought you might like to see Nate again before you zonked out."

Bobby stayed quiet and desperately hoped no one would notice him. The nurse helped Alex sit up and propped several pillows behind her. The woman Bobby guessed was Alex's sister carefully handed the bundle to Alex, who received it with equal care. Bobby inched from the corner.

"Bobby."

Alex's soft voice stopped him in midstep.

"You've got to see him."

Bobby faced the trio of women. Alex smiled warmly at him; her sister regarded him with skepticism; and the nurse wore an expression suggesting Bobby had passed her test for approval.

"Uh…Are you sure? I…I'm not…I may have brought in germs…"

"Don't worry," the nurse said calmly. "Right now this little fellow is probably safer from infection than any of us."

Bobby surrendered. He placed his binder on a table and stepped forward to the side of Alex's bed. Alex pulled back the edges of the blanket to reveal a tiny, puckered face. Bobby didn't know what to say. He never knew how to respond to babies—kids, yes, but not babies. They all looked like pug dogs and everything they did resulted in a mess.

The baby yawned, waved his slender but long fingers, and opened his eyes, eyes that were the same sea green as Alex's. The baby gravely regarded Bobby for a moment, and then shut his eyes again.

"Oh…He's beautiful," Bobby whispered reverently.

The women beamed.

"Good thing you approve," Alex said. "Or I'd really have to reconsider our partnership."

Bobby smiled, although Alex's words were too close to his recent fears for it to be a real smile. The baby made a sound that might have been a gurgle, and the women's attention turned to him. Bobby eased toward the door.

"Bobby…Where are you going?" Alex asked.

His hand was on the door latch. "I…I need to get back." He was glad that the light over Alex's bed wasn't strong enough to reveal his face. "He…He really is beautiful, Eames…Really…I'll be back…Or see you at home…If you wouldn't mind…" He hated that he sounded as if he was pleading for her attention.

Alex either didn't notice the plea in his voice or didn't care. "That'd be great," she said. "Don't be a stranger. I look forward to seeing you."

Bobby nodded and opened the door. He looked back at the bed. The nurse checked on some of the gages reporting on Alex. Her sister beamed at Alex, who beamed at the baby. A terrible, familiar ache appeared in Bobby's chest. He knew he would never have anything like this.

He knew all about yearning.

END


End file.
